How Financial Advisors Can Uncover Clients’ Hidden Money Beliefs
Use the 3-Generation Matrix to Improve Client Conversations, Discover Emotional Roadblocks, and Build Stronger Financial Plans
As a financial advisor, you’ve likely seen it: two clients with similar portfolios but entirely different behaviors. One avoids your calls. The other wants to tweak their plan every week. Same facts, very different reactions.
So what gives?
It often comes down to the money stories they’ve inherited - the unspoken beliefs passed down from generation to generation that shape how people think, feel, and act with money.
These money scripts don’t always show up in neat, logical ways. They can live in emotional reactions, avoidance, or resistance to planning. And they’re usually invisible until you ask the right questions.
In this blog, we’ll cover:
How generational money beliefs shape client behavior (often without them realizing it)
A 3-question framework to uncover hidden money stories during discovery
Real-world examples of how past experiences impact present-day financial decisions
Why understanding client money scripts leads to better follow-through and planning
How to use the 3-Generation Matrix in your practice
Tips for exploring your own financial beliefs as an advisor
Links to additional resources for deepening your skills in financial psychology
Let’s dive in.
Why Understanding Clients’ Money Beliefs Matters for Financial Advisors
Your clients aren't blank slates. They're carrying decades (generations) of beliefs, behaviors, and financial experiences into your meeting room - many they haven't even named.
When we don’t address those internalized stories, our best-laid plans often fall flat. Clients nod along, but they don’t follow through. Or worse, they become anxious or avoidant altogether.
That’s why understanding these deeper dynamics isn’t "nice to have." It’s essential for any advisor who wants to help clients achieve real transformation.
Enter the 3-Generation Matrix.
What’s the 3-Generation Matrix?
One of the simplest, most powerful tools I use with clients (and teach advisors to use) is what I call the 3-Generation Matrix. It helps uncover the beliefs and behaviors passed down through a client’s family tree that may be shaping their decisions today.
Try asking your clients:
What money messages do you think your grandparents passed down? Even if they never talked about money directly, what behaviors or values did you observe?
What was the tone around money in your household growing up? Was it stressful? Secretive? Open? Did your parents model certain habits or attitudes?
What beliefs are you now passing on - consciously or unconsciously - to your own children or loved ones?
These questions create space for reflection. They invite story. And they shift the conversation from numbers to something far more meaningful.
What You Might Hear (And What It Reveals)
Clients may say:
"My grandparents lived through the Depression, so saving was everything."
"My dad thought debt meant failure, so we paid cash for everything."
"My parents fought about money constantly, so I avoid it at all costs."
Every answer offers a clue. These aren’t just stories. They are the blueprint behind risk tolerance, spending patterns, saving behaviors, and even attitudes toward your advice.
Spotting Generational Influence in Real Life
Here are a few examples:
A client afraid of investing may not be "risk-averse" but rather carrying forward generational fear after witnessing family financial loss.
A couple who can’t agree on a financial plan may each be mirroring their parents’ financial roles or communication styles.
A high-earning client who feels constant guilt spending money may have internalized a "money is for security only" mindset.
What This Means for Your Role
The more you understand these patterns, the more effective you become at:
Framing advice that resonates emotionally
Creating plans your clients actually stick to
Navigating couple dynamics with more empathy
Recognizing when resistance is about the past, not your planning
As a Certified Financial Behavior Specialist®, this is the work I help advisors integrate into their practices every day.
Because financial planning isn’t just about numbers. It’s about people. And people bring stories.
Bonus: Understanding Your Own Matrix
This framework isn’t just for clients.
Ask yourself:
What beliefs about money were handed to me?
How might they shape the way I run my business or relate to clients?
Am I unintentionally prioritizing certain approaches over others because of my money story?
This kind of self-awareness makes you an even stronger guide. Learn more about your own money beliefs and how they may be affecting your advice here.
Want to Go Deeper?
I explore this topic more in depth on my podcast Planning & Beyond™ in an episode called "Understanding Clients' Financial Trauma."
We discuss how these patterns show up in behavior, and what advisors can do to foster healing-informed planning conversations.
Understand why your clients Think. Feel. Do.™
When you make space for money stories in your practice, clients feel seen. Heard. Understood.
And from that place, they make better financial decisions. Because it’s not just about the what. It’s about the why.
Try the 3-Generation Matrix at your next client meeting. See what opens up.
Want support integrating this into your process? This is exactly what I help advisor teams do.
Let’s uncover the why beneath the what together.
