How to Help Couples Have Better Money Dates: A Guide for Financial Advisors
I often coach advisors through one of the most emotionally charged dynamics in planning: couples navigating money together. Because let’s be honest, talking about money as a couple isn’t always easy. But when done with intention, "money dates" can strengthen not just financial plans, but relationships too.
This blog will walk you through:
How to encourage your clients to have better money conversations as a couple,
Plus a few prompts to help them get started.
Why Money Dates Matter in Financial Planning
Many couples avoid talking about money because past conversations have ended in conflict or confusion. But avoidance doesn’t lead to alignment - it leads to resentment, misunderstandings, and missed opportunities. It also affects your work and how you help your clients.
Money dates give couples a structured, supportive space to:
Check in emotionally and financially
Set or revisit goals
Address small concerns before they become big issues
Strengthen teamwork and shared decision-making
As an advisor, you can help normalize this practice and guide clients in making these conversations feel less intimidating and more productive.
How Advisors Can Prepare Clients for Productive Money Dates
Here are a few ways to set couples up for success:
1. Reframe the Goal
A money date isn’t about getting everything perfect. It’s about creating regular space for open dialogue. Let couples know they don’t need all the answers—just a willingness to show up, listen, and learn.
2. Offer Structure
Suggest that clients:
Set a time limit (30–60 minutes)
Choose a low-stress environment (over coffee, not bills spread across the kitchen table)
Start with an emotional check-in before diving into numbers
3. Encourage Curiosity Over Judgment
Many conflicts come from assumptions. Help couples ask each other questions with curiosity, not criticism. This mindset shift can change everything.
4. Provide Conversation Starters
You can even give them a few questions to get the conversation going—we’ll include some below.
5 Conversation Starters to Share with Clients
These prompts are designed to foster connection, understanding, and better financial teamwork:
“What’s one financial goal that excites you right now and why?”
“Is there anything about our money habits that feels out of sync?”
“What did you learn about money growing up that still influences you today?”
“What’s one thing we could do together that would make managing money feel easier?”
“When do you feel most financially confident? Least confident?”
Encourage clients to take turns answering, and to reflect more than they react. These aren’t one-time conversations, they’re the beginning of a deeper financial partnership.
Helping Couples Talk About Money Is a Strategic Differentiator
When you help couples align on money, you don’t just solve financial challenges, you earn trust that lasts. Advisors who can support this part of the relationship are seen as allies, not just experts.
You don’t need to be a therapist. But with the right tools, prompts, and mindset, you can help clients:
Reduce conflict
Build shared vision
Make confident, informed decisions together
Think your clients guidance beyond your role? Read more on how advisors can recognize when clients need mental health support and refer with confidence.
Understand Why Couples Think. Feel. and Do.®
At the core of every money date are individual beliefs, emotions, and experiences. When you understand the psychological undercurrents that influence couple dynamics, you can:
Help clients navigate disagreements with empathy
Coach them through moments of emotional overwhelm
Build stronger, values-aligned financial plans
Money dates aren’t just a nice-to-have. They’re a key part of relationship-centered financial planning. And you can be the advisor who makes them possible.
